I love my Gamecocks! I will bleed Garnet and Black until I die. Just because I point out a few misfortunate foibles of our storied past doesn't mean I am not a loyal fan and supporter! But lighten up people, they are JOKES! And I would challenge anyone to refute any truths pointed out in the jokes I tell on stage about the Gamecocks! Laugh at yourself before the world laughs at you, and then instead they will laugh WITH YOU!
I thought I would take the time to explain my jokes about the Gamecocks, so I could start referring people to this blog post, instead of defending it over and over again via email! Now that the blog has a few hits going to it, I thought it might be time to post this explanation of some of my jokes.
I really only tell jokes or stories on stage that are based on true, real life, experiences I have had. Therefore, my Gamecock humor is rooted in that same truth.
It is clear that some of the basis for the humor in my Gamecock material is fast disappearing (with all the recent success and all) but the historical pretext is and always will be there. I fully expect us to win big this year, making some of my jokes become more and more obsolete, but not FALSE!
The jokes I tell about the Gamecocks are either FACTUALLY accurate, or happened to me while I played there. It is as simple as that.
Just be excited that the days of the Chicken Curse are long stomped out by Ray Tanner and Michael Roth and company and Coach Spurrier will continue to bury the curse over the next few seasons!
For those of you that cannot find the humor in my Gamecock jokes because you are offended as a Gamecock fan, I suppose there is nothing I can say to you, other than to predict you are one of those type fans that wants Clemson's bus to crash on the way to the game. I want bad things to happen to Clemson during the game sure! But I don't want bad things to happen to Clemson off the field! I would go so far as to say I was willing to pull for Clemson in a bowl game if they weren't playing an S.E.C. team. I have many friends that are great people that went to Clemson and still work there.
It's time to lighten up people! Coach Tanner and Coach Spurrier have changed the culture at South Carolina forever! Not being able to make fun of the past simply is short-sighted.
And remember this: After we win 12 or 13 or 14 games this year, our overall historical football record will still only be about .5 of a percent above 500! That means that we have the best fans in America! Because our fans pack the house every year for a hundred years knowing that ... well, we might win! It's a coin toss really!
GO COCKS!
From coach to comedian: Marty Simpson is a former USA Today high school All-American and collegiate Academic All-Conference player for USC who scored the Gamecocks' first 6 points in the SEC. During 8 years as a high school varsity coach, Simpson led his team to the state finals and saw one player advance to set an NFL rookie record. Simpson now divides his time between his family, running a multimedia company named Blue-Eyed Panda and getting the same pre-game jitters by performing stand-up comedy nationwide.
Check out Marty's performance dates here.
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