Next Friday or THE Next Friday?

Thursday, March 26, 2009 0 comments
I am involved in an on-going discussion with my father as to what "Next Friday" means on any given Tuesday.

It is my personal belief that the words "Next Friday" said when referring to when something is happening, never mean three days from the time said, but TEN days. I would argue that one should always say, "THE next Friday," or more simply, "Friday," if they are referring to the day three days away.

My father's rebuttal to this argument is simple, but in my opinion, flawed logically. He states that if on that same Tuesday a person said, "Friday AFTER Next" they would clearly mean TEN days from the time said. I agree with this point. So in agreeing, my father attempts to wall me in by saying, how can "Friday AFTER Next" mean the same thing as "Next Friday?"

My response back is simple and probably flawed logically as well. It has two parts. Either part is equally as effective at sort of proving my points.

Part 1 :: "Friday AFTER Next" does mean the same thing as "Next Friday." But it doesn't mean the same thing as "Friday AFTER Next Friday."

Part 2 :: My response is to ask him when “THIS Friday” is. His response is three days from now (still assuming we are on Tuesday.) So I say, how can “THIS Friday” and “NEXT Friday” be the same day?

In my opinion, the entire logic framework is solely based on a weekend being between the days discussed or not. If we are on a Tuesday and we say “NEXT Friday” we clearly mean TEN days away. However, if we were on Saturday and said “NEXT Friday” we would (not so clearly) mean six days away.

I will also forfeit the point that using months instead of days changes everything. I would never say “NEXT month” during February and mean to communicate April. “NEXT” when referring to months always means “THE VERY NEXT.”

Also, if we were on Thursday instead of Tuesday and said, "NEXT Friday," we would definitely mean 8 days away. Otherwise we would just say TOMORROW. If the word tomorrow could be used it should ALWAYS be used. This rule is not negotiable.

In conclusion, anyone that thinks they contain the end all be all solution to this issue, I am quite certain, is sadly mistaken. So the VERY next time someone says to you, “Meet me NEXT Friday,” remember to ask them if they mean the VERY next Friday, or the Friday after next, or NEXT Friday, or THIS Friday, and make sure they don't actually mean Wednesday.

My Cinema Share

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 3 comments
These questions have been passed all around Facebook, so I decided to make it a blog entry for those that would want to know these things.

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.
Say Anything
The Matrix
Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi
The Longest Yard (The Original)
Pretty Woman
Back to the Future
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Remember the Titans
The Natural
Shawshank Redemption
Beauty and the Beast
Dead Poets Society
Superbad (not yet, but it will get there...I am on about 8)
Teen Wolf
The Sting
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Electric Horseman
Night Shift
Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III
Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Incredibles (I have kids! But I do love it!)
Barbie Rapunzel (you'd be's not bad)

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.
The Matrix
Star Wars
Empire Strikes Back
Back to the Future
Dead Poets Society
Die Hard
Teen Wolf
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - The third time in the theatre's Allen and I came in the exit to a finishing movie back door, walked to the bathroom, waited, and then went into it, because neither one of us had any money. The funny part was on the way into the back door, we ran into my youth pastor, stopped, spoke a minute, then went in.

3. Name an actor/actress that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Hugh Grant, Robert Downey Jr., Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, Drew Barrymore, Amanda Peet, Rachel McAdams, Vince Vaughn

4. Name an actor/actress that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Vin Deisel, Steven Segal, The kid who played Anakin Skywalker

5. Name a movie that you can quote from.
Pulp Fiction, Superbad, Fight Club, Night Shift (Michael Keaton, Henry Winkler), Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Star Wars Trilogy, Butch Cassidy, The Sting, basically, see list for question number 1.

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
All Software generated disney movies of the late 80's and 90's. Software meaning, the software that they ran "Mermaid", "Beast", and "Genie's Lamp" through. I think they probably ran "Native American Woman" through it too, but I didn't like that one.
If pressed hard, I would probably know way too many GREASE lyrics for a dude on football scholarship in college.
If we include Broadway, then it's ON! -- Les Miz Broadway Recording, I would own anyone at! Seriously...

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.
"PRINCE AHHHH-LEEE FABULOUS HEEEE, ALLLEEE uh BABWAH...." and definitely a "Part of your world..." and during that song I have been known to even pose on the couch like Arial on the rock as the water splashes.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
The Incredibles (I know, true comic book dorks are cringing, but it is an awesome movie for kids!)
and of course all people after they turn seven years old has to see

9. Name a movie that you own.
Superbad, Teen Wolf (and Teen Wolf Too which I haven't seen yet, because it came in the box with the first one)
All Pixar Disney Movies! Seriously!
Pretty Woman, Say Anything, and many others I am sure.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Definitely Adam Sandler. I predict two things, even though one of these won't be related to the question...
A. Adam Sandler will win an oscar within 10 years of today.
B. John Cusak will win an oscar too. And when they give him the lifetime achievement award when he is 90 years old, and they play his cut-ups, we will all be thinking the same thing, "Holy CRAP...I have loved everything this dude has ever done!"
C. Will Ferrel was awesome in Stranger than Fiction.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
No, but there is one forty miles from Columbia, so we will go this summer!

12. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it.
WOW - please no judging, we are seriously broke.... but DARK KNIGHT
Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, Death to Smoochie

13. Ever walked out of a movie?
Yes. Rob Roy -- I don't like rape scenes. Assuming I would have walked out on The Accused as well. However, when Vince Vaughn says he felt like Jodie Foster in The Accused last night during Wedding Crashers, I will admit I laughed really hard at that line.

14. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.
Boyz in the Hood, Dead Poets Society, Rocky II (I couldn't believe he couldn't get a job! I was like 8 years old!), RUDY (everytime I see it I cry at three points...during the Five-Foot-Nothin speech, When he comes BACK to practice, and at the end when makes the tackle.)
Hoosiers (at the end when Gene Hackman's voice says, "I love you boys...") Reality Bites at the end..probably the U2 song gets me...

Not in the theatre (and I am working on this as stage material for my stand-up) but
Everyone knows that it is allowed for guys to cry at Brian's Song, right? So, by show of applause who cried at the Movie Brian's Song? about another one...How about CARS? anyone?... no one?... I loved Disney Pixar's CARS! Man, when Lightning McQueen gives up the win in the end...come on!! I was like a seven year old little girl watching Old Yellar!

Maybe thinking of subbing in Hotel for Dogs into the above bit -- I cried something fierce at the end of that. I looked at my daughter, Savannah, during the middle of the movie, and she was crying, and when I looked at her, she said, "I don't even know why I am crying daddy..." and I said, "I don't know why I am crying either's ok..."

Also cried at the end of Ratatoille in the theatre! Seriously...

15. Popcorn?
Too expensive, just makes me angry.

16. How often do you go to the movies?
Used to go every now and then... but now NEVER -- maybe to see Hotel For Dogs with the kids. I didn't see Iron-Man or Dark Knight in the theatre! I do have an awesome HD television and every movie channel on Directv though!

17. What's the last movie you saw in the theater?
Hotel for Dogs - Five Stars from me!

18. What's your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
I love a good romantic comedy, but also love adventure movies. Crazy Black Comedy like Fight Club though really gets me going.

19. What's the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
That weird Flinstone movie Allen references in his deal probably because I remember seeing it, but I thought Star Wars was my first movie.

20. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
Joe Dirt, Billy Bathgate, Hudson Hawk

21. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
The Daytrippers maybe (Greg Mottala)
50 First Dates

22. What is the scariest movie you've seen?
I don't see scary movies at all. Meaning horror movies. I just have never ever seen one!
Poltergeist when I was kid was terrible for me, saw like half of it.
Didn't watch the melting scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark until the eighth grade when my geology teacher showed the movie to us in class.
Silence of the Lambs maybe? The Muse!

23. What is the funniest movie you've seen?
WOW - hard to pick one!
I think Superbad is my recent favorite. And maybe the movie that I laugh the longest and hardest at (that's what she said) ever...
I have really struck a cord with the Judd Apatow camp of films lately.
Wedding Crashers for sure!

Handicapped Lottery Access

Monday, March 09, 2009 0 comments
I would like to take this time to thank the good state of North Carolina for taking such good care of handicapped folks. I have had relatives that have been so negatively affected by restaurants and other establishments not having the right types of access that my heart breaks for the handicapped.

While traveling through North Carolina recently I snapped this picture at a local gas station.
My only issue would be that if the handicapped folks didn't have a properly functioning horn in their vehicle I wonder what would happen? Darn those North Carolinian congressmen that have deprived the horn-less handicapped of their inalienable right to purchase a lottery ticket.

While performing at the BET - A Time To Laugh - tapings, I was able to get to know Chris "Smokey" Jones pretty well. He is one of the most talented and funny persons I have ever met in my entire life.

The cool thing was, I happen to be doing open-mic night at The Comedy House in Columbia about six months ago (one of four times only, although, I do perform there tomorrow night!) and Smokey was featured that night.

He and I hit off backstage and got to talking about some deeper spiritual things. We made a connection there and reconnected at the audition. It would seem we may be destined for something great together! We'll see.

OK folks, this is an unbelievable journey.

First of all, I would like to apologize that the BET was not more organized about the ticket booking to those of you (my family included) that were given either no or false information. There were plenty of seats available had you come to the show, so I cannot imagine why the confirmations were not being given out.

BUT ------

It was amazing! It will be fun for you all to watch when it airs (in April last we heard.)

I got a very long ovation with some folks standing (I was too overjoyed to even notice.)

After the set was over, the host, Vickie Winans, asked me to stay on stage with her to ... ( cannot give too many details because the show will air later, but let's just say, Vickie and I had an impromptu moment that may lead to countless of downloads after it airs. )

It could not have gone better.

Thanks to Reid Davis for making the event! I look forward to getting more of his input about the overall day and other performances.

I will blog about the sketch tapings after they air, as it seems a little bit wrong to post behind the scenes pictures prior the show airing!

I film the Dr. Phil sketch tomorrow.

BET Sketch Rehearsal

Wednesday, March 04, 2009 2 comments
It is very easy to see God working in all of this, and it is a joy to be a part of it all.

Ok folks. This is entire ordeal is surreal. I have no idea how all this is happening like this, nor do I want to take the time to stop and think about it like that.

I keep hearing the Talking Heads song in my head ... "Same As It Ever Was..."

The lines where he yells,

The taping of the five minute set will be Friday night, but in the mean time the "Improv" team rehearsed sketches that will film in front of a live studio audience all day at the NBA on TNT studio!!

While rehearsing my one sketch (as Dr. Phil) I was asked to be in other sketches!! We'll see how that turns out!

This has already been a ride!

Funniest Moment of Today :: When I asked the BET Folks if I would need any hair and make-up for the dress rehearsal, and that I was not going to shave my gotee, would that be a problem?... they both said, in unison, "No, you're not wearing any make-up or anything to be Dr. Phil, we want you just like you are."

Luke Gets Mole #2

Monday, March 02, 2009 0 comments
Here is a picture of me burying Mole #2 (that we know about.) Luke is quickly proving himself a valuable asset of Team Simpson.

(Since posting this he has capture #3 and #4 but we had dead batteries in all phone cameras and digital cameras!)

My Kids and My Doodles

Sunday, March 01, 2009 0 comments
I just thought this was a fun picture. I woke up one Saturday morning and rolled out of bed to find this.

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