The Media Helps Spurrier Be The Mad-Genius

Wednesday, October 03, 2012
Coach is sometimes grainy and out of
focus to those who don't understand
his mastermind ways.
Spurrier has duped the local and national media yet again. Why do the reporters all get tricked into this bait and switch every time it happens? I will tell you why. Because they are like sharks swimming around a bloody carcass, and cannot help themselves. It's in their nature to chomp on that carcass and they can't help but do it. Coach Spurrier knows this and uses it to his delight whenever he sees fit.

The latest version of Coach Spurrier's tactics revolve around local State Newspaper columnist, Ron Morris. Morris made some comments which allowed Spurrier to create his planned media diversion. Those comments were personal in nature about Spurrier. (You can google those and read ad nauseam. I am not concerned with those comments.)

What I am focusing on is how easily Spurrier is able to wield his jedi-mind trick powers over every single media outlet on the planet. Sports talk radio, newspapers, blogs, network television websites, national news organizations, are all buzzing this week about the "whiny Coach Spurrier needing thicker skin." Those media outlets can't get enough of it. They are all romantically united in this stance against the all-powerful Coach railing against one of their own.

And this is EXACTLY what Coach Spurrier wanted to happen.

We have seen these tactics before, and evidently, Coach Spurrier realizes they will always work, so he keeps using them. Coach Spurrier would rather the pundits talk about his need for "a thicker skin" than bombard his players or assistant coaches with questions about the upcoming opponent. He wants his team singularly focused on beating Georgia, while he diverts all the distractions upon himself.

If you don't believe Coach Spurrier picks and chooses when to do these types of things, just take a look at exactly when they have all happened in the past. "Free Shoes University" was just before the championship game against FSU. The "echo of the whistle comments" were before the same game. The Phil Fulmer comments were always before big games ("Can't spell Citrus without UT.) The last Ron Morris debacle was the week Garcia was kicked off the team. Spurrier creates these distractions on purpose when he chooses to. Why is it not obvious by now?

The extraordinarily entertaining part to me is how all the "media folks" are so up in arms about Spurrier's behavior. They are all crying about how Spurrier needs to grow up and treat this situation with more dignity and grace. They are clamoring about it all over the interwebs. All the while, failing to realize they are indeed acting exactly like that which they criticize, and are doing so at the beck and call of the mastermind himself.

Continuing the irony, the national media pundits are all saying Coach Spurrier needs "thicker skin." To that I say, THE NATIONAL MEDIA needs thicker skin. All the national media outlets who are publishing articles saying Coach Spurrier should just ignore Ron Morris' comments are all being giggled at behind closed doors by Spurrier. The truth is, THEY should be ignoring Spurrier's comments but they are physically incapable of doing so. Spurrier knows this!

If Spurrier hadn't pulled this stunt, every article would be headlined with something like, "Biggest Game Ever at Williams-Brice." Gamecock players would be reading those headlines and become distracted by them. Instead, they get to plan for Georgia like business as usual. Business as usual at South Carolina means their coach is ornery about some local media idiot as that same coach yells at them at practice. To all Gamecock players this just feels like a normal game week.

And one last note in regards to what Spurrier is pretending to be upset about in order to shield his team from getting distracted by the over hype.

I realize I am not a professional journalist, so I don't understand how all the ethics of journalism work. I am just a comedian. Can someone please explain the particulars of how it all works? Am I allowed to just say whatever I want to say, and then if it turns out to be a lie, apologize for it the next day? Is that how journalism works? Do "columnists" get to lie then apologize since they are not "reporters?" I am confused.

But unlike any media pundit who has published any article this week about Spurrier's comments instead of the magnitude of the upcoming game, I am NOT CONFUSED. Spurrier didn't dupe me. I saw it all happen first hand and loved it all. Just like I did all the other times.

And if you are not convinced Spurrier does these things on purpose effectively, ask yourself what you remember about the last twelve South Carolina games. Is it the fact that we are 11 and 1 during those twelve games, or is it that you remember Spurrier railing on Ron Morris the week Connor Shaw took over the Gamecock's starting job? Of course you don't remember that because nobody cares about that stuff later on. You remember the WINNING not the whining. Spurrier knows this and continues to WIN, while he continues to whine. Later this year after the Gamecocks have won more than ever before, no one will care that Spurrier was a little whiny after the Mizzou game. Those same reporters will vote him SEC Coach of the Year for the umpteenth time.

All the while, Coach Spurrier will know he did it all on purpose. Anyone who feels otherwise is just part of Spurrier's master plan.

From coach to comedian: Marty Simpson is a former USA Today high school All-American and collegiate Academic All-Conference player for USC who scored the Gamecocks' first 6 points in the SEC. During 8 years as a high school varsity coach, Simpson led his team to the state finals and saw one player advance to set an NFL rookie record. Simpson now divides his time between his family, running a multimedia company named Blue-Eyed Panda and getting the same pre-game jitters by performing stand-up comedy nationwide.

Check out Marty's performance dates here.

1 Response to 'The Media Helps Spurrier Be The Mad-Genius'

  1. 3Dingo Said,'> October 3, 2012 at 1:37 PM


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