It turns out the $10 I bid on a Fantasy Camp Training Week with SEC Football Officials paid off. That's right, I got to spend a "week in training" with the referees of the SEC. Oh boy!

I kept a journal of my experience, sort of a "Diary of a Mad Black Woman," except mine is called...

Diary of a Mad Black and Garnet Place-Kicker

Day 1: Check-In and Registration

As soon as I indicated I was from South Carolina, I was promptly told to wait in the back of the line with guys from Vanderbilt and Kentucky. They said they were getting Alabama, Florida and LSU checked in first.

I said, "Can't I register before the Ole Miss or Mississippi State guys?" The head of officials just shook his head and pointed to the back of the line.

At the welcome meeting the emcee had everyone from Alabama stand up and made us all applaud for them. Then he said, "And the rest of you, thanks for coming."

Day 2: Officiating 101: How to Throw the Flag

This morning we had a great speaker discuss in complete detail the fundamentals of how to make a call.

First rule of SEC officiating is to know the teams' records of the game we are calling. If we think there is a foul on a team, we reach for our flag and grab it, and have it "ready" to throw. Then we assess whether the team we are calling the foul against is undefeated, and if so, we wait two seconds.

During this two-second pause, we must decide beyond all fear of contradiction if this penalty would jeopardize the team's chances of playing for the BCS title. If we are in doubt, ... (Click here to read the rest on GC website.)

Nothing more to this post!

From coach to comedian: Marty Simpson is a former USA Today high school All-American and collegiate Academic All-Conference player for USC who scored the Gamecocks' first 6 points in the SEC. During 8 years as a high school varsity coach, Simpson led his team to the state finals and saw one player advance to set an NFL rookie record. Simpson now divides his time between his family, running a multimedia company named Blue-Eyed Panda and getting the same pre-game jitters by performing stand-up comedy nationwide.

Check out Marty's performance dates here.

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