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The Snake DAY!!

Monday, May 25, 2009 0 comments

Walt came in this morning and said,

"OH MY GOSH, DAD, a huge salamandar, or a snake just crawled under the white tub thingy in the garage!!"

I responded,

"Um, what do you mean, Walt? Are you saying there might be a snake in our garage?"

Walt said, "YES! Come Quick!!"


(ABOVE) This is the straight down view of the snake hiding behind our hot water heater.


Above is the blue container that Ashley found that we could put the snake in when we caught it.

This view shows the real reason why we couldn't find our friendly drive way FROG for the last two days. Seriously...
(ABOVE) Just putting some perspective on the size of the snake. We estimate the snake is 24 inches long or so, give or take an inch or so.


Above - Good shot of the NON-triangular head to let us know this was a non-poisonous snake.

(Above) Good view of the full snake after we had "caught" him. We used an 8 iron and a net to get him or her wrangled up into the box.

Above - A proud Walt with the snake in tow.




My Unbelievable Wife!

Saturday, May 09, 2009 2 comments
Ashley Simpson is the best Mom in the world!


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Next Friday or THE Next Friday?

Thursday, March 26, 2009 0 comments
I am involved in an on-going discussion with my father as to what "Next Friday" means on any given Tuesday.

It is my personal belief that the words "Next Friday" said when referring to when something is happening, never mean three days from the time said, but TEN days. I would argue that one should always say, "THE next Friday," or more simply, "Friday," if they are referring to the day three days away.

My father's rebuttal to this argument is simple, but in my opinion, flawed logically. He states that if on that same Tuesday a person said, "Friday AFTER Next" they would clearly mean TEN days from the time said. I agree with this point. So in agreeing, my father attempts to wall me in by saying, how can "Friday AFTER Next" mean the same thing as "Next Friday?"

My response back is simple and probably flawed logically as well. It has two parts. Either part is equally as effective at sort of proving my points.

Part 1 :: "Friday AFTER Next" does mean the same thing as "Next Friday." But it doesn't mean the same thing as "Friday AFTER Next Friday."

Part 2 :: My response is to ask him when “THIS Friday” is. His response is three days from now (still assuming we are on Tuesday.) So I say, how can “THIS Friday” and “NEXT Friday” be the same day?

In my opinion, the entire logic framework is solely based on a weekend being between the days discussed or not. If we are on a Tuesday and we say “NEXT Friday” we clearly mean TEN days away. However, if we were on Saturday and said “NEXT Friday” we would (not so clearly) mean six days away.

I will also forfeit the point that using months instead of days changes everything. I would never say “NEXT month” during February and mean to communicate April. “NEXT” when referring to months always means “THE VERY NEXT.”

Also, if we were on Thursday instead of Tuesday and said, "NEXT Friday," we would definitely mean 8 days away. Otherwise we would just say TOMORROW. If the word tomorrow could be used it should ALWAYS be used. This rule is not negotiable.

In conclusion, anyone that thinks they contain the end all be all solution to this issue, I am quite certain, is sadly mistaken. So the VERY next time someone says to you, “Meet me NEXT Friday,” remember to ask them if they mean the VERY next Friday, or the Friday after next, or NEXT Friday, or THIS Friday, and make sure they don't actually mean Wednesday.

My Cinema Share

Tuesday, March 17, 2009 3 comments
These questions have been passed all around Facebook, so I decided to make it a blog entry for those that would want to know these things.

1. Name a movie that you have seen more than 10 times.
Say Anything
The Matrix
Star Wars, Empire Strikes Back, Return of the Jedi
The Longest Yard (The Original)
Pretty Woman
Back to the Future
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Rudy
Hoosiers
Remember the Titans
The Natural
Shawshank Redemption
Beauty and the Beast
Dead Poets Society
Superbad (not yet, but it will get there...I am on about 8)
Teen Wolf
The Sting
Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid
Electric Horseman
Night Shift
E.T.
Rocky, Rocky II, Rocky III
Super-Man
Raiders of the Lost Ark
The Incredibles (I have kids! But I do love it!)
Barbie Rapunzel (you'd be surprised...it's not bad)

2. Name a movie that you've seen multiple times in the theater.
The Matrix
Star Wars
Empire Strikes Back
Back to the Future
E.T.
Dead Poets Society
Die Hard
Teen Wolf
Ferris Bueller's Day Off
Rudy
Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade - The third time in the theatre's Allen and I came in the exit to a finishing movie back door, walked to the bathroom, waited, and then went into it, because neither one of us had any money. The funny part was on the way into the back door, we ran into my youth pastor, stopped, spoke a minute, then went in.

3. Name an actor/actress that would make you more inclined to see a movie.
Hugh Grant, Robert Downey Jr., Seth Rogen, Michael Cera, Drew Barrymore, Amanda Peet, Rachel McAdams, Vince Vaughn

4. Name an actor/actress that would make you less likely to see a movie.
Vin Deisel, Steven Segal, The kid who played Anakin Skywalker

5. Name a movie that you can quote from.
Pulp Fiction, Superbad, Fight Club, Night Shift (Michael Keaton, Henry Winkler), Ferris Bueller's Day Off, Star Wars Trilogy, Butch Cassidy, The Sting, basically, see list for question number 1.

6. Name a movie musical that you know all of the lyrics to all of the songs.
All Software generated disney movies of the late 80's and 90's. Software meaning, the software that they ran "Mermaid", "Beast", and "Genie's Lamp" through. I think they probably ran "Native American Woman" through it too, but I didn't like that one.
If pressed hard, I would probably know way too many GREASE lyrics for a dude on football scholarship in college.
If we include Broadway, then it's ON! -- Les Miz Broadway Recording, I would own anyone at! Seriously...

7. Name a movie that you have been known to sing along with.
"PRINCE AHHHH-LEEE FABULOUS HEEEE, ALLLEEE uh BABWAH...." and definitely a "Part of your world..." and during that song I have been known to even pose on the couch like Arial on the rock as the water splashes.

8. Name a movie that you would recommend everyone see.
The Incredibles (I know, true comic book dorks are cringing, but it is an awesome movie for kids!)
and of course all people after they turn seven years old has to see
SUPERBAD

9. Name a movie that you own.
Superbad, Teen Wolf (and Teen Wolf Too which I haven't seen yet, because it came in the box with the first one)
All Pixar Disney Movies! Seriously!
Pretty Woman, Say Anything, and many others I am sure.

10. Name an actor that launched his/her entertainment career in another medium but who has surprised you with his/her acting chops.
Definitely Adam Sandler. I predict two things, even though one of these won't be related to the question...
A. Adam Sandler will win an oscar within 10 years of today.
B. John Cusak will win an oscar too. And when they give him the lifetime achievement award when he is 90 years old, and they play his cut-ups, we will all be thinking the same thing, "Holy CRAP...I have loved everything this dude has ever done!"
C. Will Ferrel was awesome in Stranger than Fiction.

11. Have you ever seen a movie in a drive-in? If so, what?
No, but there is one forty miles from Columbia, so we will go this summer!

12. Name a movie that you keep meaning to see but just haven't yet gotten around to it.
WOW - please no judging, we are seriously broke.... but DARK KNIGHT
also
Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist, Death to Smoochie

13. Ever walked out of a movie?
Yes. Rob Roy -- I don't like rape scenes. Assuming I would have walked out on The Accused as well. However, when Vince Vaughn says he felt like Jodie Foster in The Accused last night during Wedding Crashers, I will admit I laughed really hard at that line.

14. Name a movie that made you cry in the theater.
Boyz in the Hood, Dead Poets Society, Rocky II (I couldn't believe he couldn't get a job! I was like 8 years old!), RUDY (everytime I see it I cry at three points...during the Five-Foot-Nothin speech, When he comes BACK to practice, and at the end when makes the tackle.)
Hoosiers (at the end when Gene Hackman's voice says, "I love you boys...") Reality Bites at the end..probably the U2 song gets me...

Not in the theatre (and I am working on this as stage material for my stand-up) but
Everyone knows that it is allowed for guys to cry at Brian's Song, right? So, by show of applause who cried at the Movie Brian's Song? Ok...how about another one...How about CARS? anyone?... no one?... I loved Disney Pixar's CARS! Man, when Lightning McQueen gives up the win in the end...come on!! I was like a seven year old little girl watching Old Yellar!

Maybe thinking of subbing in Hotel for Dogs into the above bit -- I cried something fierce at the end of that. I looked at my daughter, Savannah, during the middle of the movie, and she was crying, and when I looked at her, she said, "I don't even know why I am crying daddy..." and I said, "I don't know why I am crying either honey..it's ok..."

Also cried at the end of Ratatoille in the theatre! Seriously...

15. Popcorn?
Too expensive, just makes me angry.

16. How often do you go to the movies?
Used to go every now and then... but now NEVER -- maybe to see Hotel For Dogs with the kids. I didn't see Iron-Man or Dark Knight in the theatre! I do have an awesome HD television and every movie channel on Directv though!

17. What's the last movie you saw in the theater?
Hotel for Dogs - Five Stars from me!

18. What's your favorite/preferred genre of movie?
I love a good romantic comedy, but also love adventure movies. Crazy Black Comedy like Fight Club though really gets me going.

19. What's the first movie you remember seeing in the theater?
That weird Flinstone movie Allen references in his deal probably because I remember seeing it, but I thought Star Wars was my first movie.

20. What movie do you wish you had never seen?
Joe Dirt, Billy Bathgate, Hudson Hawk

21. What is the weirdest movie you enjoyed?
The Daytrippers maybe (Greg Mottala)
50 First Dates

22. What is the scariest movie you've seen?
I don't see scary movies at all. Meaning horror movies. I just have never ever seen one!
Poltergeist when I was kid was terrible for me, saw like half of it.
Didn't watch the melting scene in Raiders of the Lost Ark until the eighth grade when my geology teacher showed the movie to us in class.
Silence of the Lambs maybe? The Muse!

23. What is the funniest movie you've seen?
WOW - hard to pick one!
I think Superbad is my recent favorite. And maybe the movie that I laugh the longest and hardest at (that's what she said) ever...
I have really struck a cord with the Judd Apatow camp of films lately.
Wedding Crashers for sure!


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